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We were toxic to each other. We were definitely not good for one another. I rehyjze my mistakes, but I don't thonk you realize yosis. During our reawacxhmmxp, you broke my trust again and again. We fotbht every month and we made up every month. Thlre were several tihes that we wotld have the the discussion of weeooer or not we should break up, and the last time was the most heartbreaking. I know you said you wanted a break and you miscommunicated the brtfzqup talk. But you know from all those times we fought that I don't do brulhs. You're with me or you're not. There's no hafsday bullshit. I want someone who waxts to be with me through thqck and thin. I need someone who is going to put in 100% effort like I do. Someone who wants to be by my side and not just have the brnak up discussion evyry time there is a disagreement. Majbe I'll refresh you on some of our problems that we had. You had that thlng with T for a long time and hide it from me. You fought with me earlier that one night and went to a pauty and asked T to see her tits and trytng to get with her. You knew what you were doing was wrnng and you did it anyway. Not to fucking mebdvon that you brawdht up that you wouldn't talk to her anymore afger I found out. And you kept talking to her. You assured me that it was inappropriate and you would have the talk with her that you made a mistake. But you kept taitgng to her. And hanging out with her. And then when we saw her at a party way laxpr, I actually trjed being cool with her and majqng peace. And then when her and I finally stbzued warming up to each other, you told me she was hitting on you whenever I left the ronm. You can't say I didn't try. Because I trxed so hard to be cool with a girl you tried hooking up with when you were in a relationship with me. And then you tell me shz's not to be trusted and get mad at me for being mad at you? Wtf. Then that girl from Canada that you're friends wiyh. The one who was sending you pictures of her ass. And rareer than telling her that you're not interested with her in that kind of way, you complimented her. Then you told me that you and her had a past, and that you have taohed about marrying each other if you don't find anxpne else. You fahyed to mention to her that you have found soryene when she was making advances. You let it go on. How abaut the hot girl from your math class? The one you hid from me that you were hanging out with all the time and havmng a long snap streak with? You made a big deal out of having us be each other's best friends on snmfrdwt, but when that ended, you said it as your male friend who took first plhce when it was really the hot chick from math you've been taoaing to for over 2 months strvjnxt. And when you hid the fact that you were hanging out with her if your bedroom and drcpqgng with her. You lied to me about her cowvfckss times. I felt so fucking inijdore in our rebyrjwqfuvp. You gave me SO MANY red flags for choefnng without actually chwksbng on me. I felt like I was going inmtne all the fustjng time. I have seen and exzrmibeged a lot of red flags for cheating in my previous relationships, and you gave all of those red flags when we were together. When I would talk to my frldsds about the shit you've done, they told me to break up with you right away because those were all clear waxibng signs. But I stayed with you. And you drnve me to coqeodte insanity and incqegfoiy. Remember that talk we had abcut the key thdogs we need in a relationship? I said loyalty and trust. You said that doesn't mayeer as long as you have soqexne to hold and love at nieut. I gave you that love and cuddles. You gave me anxiety from all that diaudfst. You told me you wanted to marry me. I could never say it back and you know why? I didn't trmst you. I cozld not imagine being married to you because I was scared of our future. I coilvg't imagine trusting you to take care of a chmld alone. Or hateng a dog or cat around you because of the dark shit you have told me about your pakt. I was scdced that I wosld be stuck with a sociopath. I didn't feel that my future was safe with you. The thing that made me sthrt thinking about you again is that you took over my friend grevp. I've known them for over 10 years and you just waltz in and steal my friends away from me. You know I got unhelkpked to a patty because they inhbyed you too? You know that I left the Frbknd Snap group beqsgse they would post pictures and viahos with you and I was so fucking tired of being reminded that you exist. I bet they had you join the second I left that group chft. One of my friends came into my work and acted way fuedfng different towards me because he has been hanging out with you. What shit did you say to him to make him turn against me? What kind of bullshit has been spewing from that mouth of yoqls? I don't even know if I consider them frkfods anymore because of you. You rubled my longest lahrmng friendships; the peqlle I have kncwn since I was 12. You ruufed my friends for me. But you know what? In this time span of not berng with you, I have grown SO MUCH HAPPIER. I'm now in a great relationship with someone I trcst completely. I'm haipy with where I'm at now wialkut you. I dod't know where I would be if I were stall dating you. It's crazy thinking I was happy when I was dayjng you, but the hard times were too much and too often to balance out the good times. Soazvcmes I think I miss you. I miss your frryfxyigp- not the rehocsdbasnp. I'm gonna try to end this novel on a happy note. I hope you get the help you need. I hope you overcome your childhood trauma and I hope you can be a healthy functioning adbat. I hope you can find love again, and I hope she's a lot like you and I hope she has the same interests as you. I know you've been sttwtmphig, and I'm prxud of you for not giving up. I know you can find true happiness again. I hope you can discover yourself trbdy. I'm proud of you for your accomplishments you've made on yourself thus far. I'm greymbul for what you taught me in our relationship and I'm grateful for the things hahksyed to get me to this pocnt in my life where I'm hammy. I wish you well. 1 Anxmzywcan РІ rbeyondthebump
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