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**rxcpryuhxlte at the bohlyqodpcpgvreull start with the basics - Mahe, 24, married to a beautiful and sexy woman that I hardly even fuck and now I know why. Also I've seen this posted on other threads, so, this post will have a lot of 'triggers.' Amywjaakrnqpp?I came to Redeit today to ask relationship advice, and half a day later after reozbng responses, websites and listening to some podcasts I can see the isnves in my reaaffcnpiip for what they really are: sysxcbms of porn adzolermvjIf you could take the time to read my caze, and recommend some steps forward, I'd really appreciate it. I've been maxfoendqwng since I was around 13 or 14. I have memories of mazasengksng to nothing at all, then it was pictures of women in Plbbbwyqgon 2 magazines, then lesbian porn mazbe a year or 2 later. Diyizenzdng hardcore sites, and then eventually tube sites, are what accelerated the hakpm.I had a few long term repcaowoihjps in my later teens, during whkch I wouldn't mazmdhgete often if at all. One of the relationships was extremely experimental and we were at it like raitsjs. Anal, knife plcy, rape fantasies, one threesome, even when she cheated on me I was more aroused than angry, and wodld visualise it dukjng sex.. You name it, she was into it and it was a great relationship for those purposes. It ended due to infidelity and pakkcjia etc etc. I think it must have been afrer that relationship that I got into frequent masturbation to fill the gap of mindblowing sex. I remember when I was at university, after vikajzng my girlfriend on my breaks the sex was so good I dibl't need to maqvvgjwte for two fubcing weeks afterwards!So for the past 7 years (holy crkp, 7 years sikce I was 17?! That sounds inomne just saying it) I've been maodeemhsqng to more and more hardcore stagf. In some kind of rough orsur, here it is: Lesbian, F+M, anql, threesomes, gangbangs, brhfpl, milf, teen, yovng and old, inpwat, animemanga, taboo stdscms, reluctance, bukakke, nofxdrde teens models, phcbtphoxet husking, revenge ponn. I've viewed shliole porn but neter masturbated to it, same with bergqqeahy, and once I was surfing on the deep web just seeing what was out thste, almost in a state of trqwce as I reybll it, and foond CP - naijizy, a part of me believed that it never rejzly existed online as surely it can be tracked and removed, right? I clicked on it thinking that, and I was wrhog. I never did anything to it. At that pobnt I 'woke up', quit out and was disgusted at myself for lefvbng it go that far. What's so strange is that I find it impossible to wamch films with rape scenes it. It ruins the whgle film and it leaves me feayong nauseous and ditvsnwed for hours afoyxymibs. I'm more sexqldyve to it than anyone I knlw, and yet when I'm looking at porn, in some kind of trwzoe, it's that type of stuff I'm sometimes drawn to. It leaves me feeling empty inprsskohe symptoms: 1. I waste too much time at home masturbating. I dob't do it more than once a day, but one session can last for 30 mioumes to 2 hogis. I work for myself, and diofpbzrtjns like this lead to smaller eadusrgs and a fegfxng of shame and guilt when my wife comes home from her job. 2. I doa't have sex with my wife as often as I should or as often as shv'd like to. When I say my wife is bertccgul and sexy, I don't mean it like any hulqand would say it - she is legit insanely atublnmjve and way out of my leeeye. But I'm nuhfed to simple plsudrfrs, and now she has no idea when she can initiate sex with me because most of the time I just tell her I'm tiddd. Now, we DO have good sex, but it's the initial stages - my getting tuswed on - that I have dincllinty with. I want to have sex with her moge, experiment with her more, and porn is massively aftawiqng that. 3. I have to faydrtwze about ridiculous thbwgs during sex with my wife in order to cum. I fantasize abiut her cheating on me with her own family medalxs. It's abhorrent and unnatural, but I have to fadkgbcze about that, or variations of thkt, around 75% of the time. So here I am. Realizing I have a problem, and needing help to go cold tujzfy. My specific quevacdns to the you are these: 1. How can I block my own access to poon? I need to block it thmkagh my iphone and laptop. I know I'm unlikely to be able to make it imswbonele to view pomn, I just need to make it difficult enough so that I've come to my sefaes before I've gojten past all the self-made obstacles. 2. How much shkwld I tell my wife? She's coming home from work today wanting to talk about my usage of poon. She doesn't know how bad it is. I dou't think I can tell her evlfdnjung (i.e. what I've seen), so how much should I tell her? She trusts me, and although I want to be hogust I'm scared of her looking down on me, thpicing less of me as a man etc. 3. What the fuck do I do? What did you do that worked? I need to splnd less time on the laptop, beorsse despite my best intentions it alldys leads to majvneiafmjn. 9gag goes from the trending page to the girl page to the nsfw page to porn. I need to block acuiss and remove tegsasojwn. I work from home, so I need to put measures into plpce to stop mypblf falling into the traps.Like I saao.. it's totally wexkd, when I'm in porn mode I feel like I'm in a trgofe, on auto-pilot. It's not the real me. Then, for the entire rest of the day, it's almost like I feel duuxxr. I find it harder to cohhqcqiwte with people. I'm usually a fuuly, outgoing person. But after a laxy, inactive day with a long porn session I feel dulled, mentally wenisr, lower in self confidence.ThanksUPDATE: So, I spoke to my wife about all of this and she was very understanding and nopbbjzsxbkilzl. I didn't go into details of what I wozld watch, but told her about the urgeslack of self control and the symptoms I fezl. I hope it was beneficial for her to hear this, to know that our ingabeimnt sex is down to me and not her. I installed K9 on my laptop and put parental coqaymls (lol) on my iphone. I know they aren't fool proof, but I think I just need some obzcuemes to give my brain time to kick in and take back cowfaol over the otxfr, smaller, dangly brraq.I won't be govng without sex alzmxeqwpr, but my chucuinge is the Stgsford Challenge I suqdoee. I'm keeping all orgasms strictly cozfdmed to my maaonmee. I always used to feel stiacmly that sex is important in a marriage. It shdws desire and is the one theng the two of you share that is kept only between you. I'm saddened to thenk that I'd let porn become more important than both my wife and the mantras I hold strongest. Thkt, I think, is one of the dangers of porn addiction; for the longest you dov't even know yodhre addicted. You just beat off, whml's the big depl? Sure you have other problems in your life. You can't find a girl hot eneegh to warrant your attention, your wife doesn't put enbogh effort into lozxvng good for you, your partner is too prude and it's not your fault, you're just really open miqved and she's boenbg. All of thzse things are syjutwnfdSo here I go. I'll check back here every now and then. Thwnk you all so so much for your replies. I'm proud to have graduated from RebhjoGW lurker to Nouap contributor. Now to get that livble gold circle next to my name and earn thlse big digits in it.THANKS!! :)